Dear Graduates: You Don’t Have to Network Your Way Into Belonging

You’ve just entered the world of work — fresh ideas, big dreams, and a sense that you’re meant to figure it out quickly. One of the first things you’re told to do…

“Go out and network.” “Book coffee with random people.” “Build relationships.”

But what if that advice doesn’t feel natural? What if you’re introverted — someone who finds small talk draining, or struggles to spark up conversations with strangers?

At Circle & Square, we hear this all the time. We even hear this from the leaders who guide new individuals in the working world. And we believe it’s time to rethink what it really means to “build relationships.”

Connection × Task = Real Relationships

We don’t build strong relationships by ticking boxes on networking to-do lists. We build them by listening differently — by tuning into the connecting moments people offer before jumping straight into the task.

Maybe someone mentions they didn’t get lunch today, or that they stumbled into this industry unexpectedly. Those aren’t small talk. They’re invitations.

When we respond to those little openings with genuine curiosity, we make space for real connection. Then, and only then, do we focus on the task at hand. That’s our formula: Connection × Task = Sustainable Relationships.

Relationship-Building, Redefined

We often assume relationship-building means being outgoing, talkative, and charismatic. But introverts have their own superpower: depth. presence. listening not just to respond, but to understand.

You don’t need to know someone in order to connect. You simply need to listen differently.

So instead of pushing yourself to “network” in the traditional sense, try this:

Start with shared moments, not shared business goals
Ask real questions, not rehearsed ones
Let your curiosity lead, rather than pressure to impress

When you listen with the intent to connect — not just to reply — you’ll begin to notice how easily people offer you threads to build on. Follow those threads. That’s how real relationships form.

Key Takeaways:

You don’t have to be extroverted to build meaningful work relationships
Listen for connection before diving into the task
Authentic relationships start with presence, not performance
Culture and reputation are built internally first — one connection at a time

Let’s move beyond “just network.” Let’s make connection something everyone can access.

Reach out to our amazing partners at Circle & Square. Cindy, cindy@circleandsqaure.co.za, or Michal, michal@circleandsqaure.co.za to re-engage your workforce: https://www.circleandsquare.co.za/

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